Books for Mother Culture

Mom, what are you learning these days? Better yet what are you reading these days? Are you taking time for self?

These are some important questions to ask ourselves because our mental and emotional and spiritual health is SO important. How can we pour into our people, our husbands and children (and sometimes parents), if we haven’t poured into ourselves or allowed someone else pour into us?

Podcasts, books, videos, music, and art are some of the ways we can pour into or allow someone else to pour into us. Once upon a time I used to listen to podcasts every day and read my Bible everyday because those things rejuvenated me for the next day. And I fell off hugely after moving from North Dakota. I’m still struggling to find my rhythm and footing again. I’ll be honest, it’s hard and frustrating because I miss the ease and consistency of my days. So now as I write this for you, I am writing to myself. It’s time to reclaim our consistency and routine and rhythm for ourselves and our families. Children thrive off of routine and knowing what’s next. And to be honest, so do we.

So to get back on track, let me share some of what I’ve been reading. So recently I purchased (we are on a hugely tight budget) A Charlotte Mason Companion and Mother Culture both by Karen Andreola. Then due to some water damage I am now able to keep some library books that are great reads: The Call of the Wild and Free by Ainsley Arment; For the Children’s Sake by Susan Schaffer Macaulay; The Brave Learner by Julie Bogart; and Better Together by Pam Barnhill. These books are not just good reads for a one time pass through but they’re also good to reference back to later. My hope is to eventually add Karen Andreola other books to my library.

Then, there are the podcasts I try to listen to weekly (used to be daily but since the summer hit I’ve dropped to weekly). So the staples are Cultivating Grace with Lara Molettiere; Rootlike Faith with Pat and Ruth Schwenk (Ruth has written two of my favorite devotionals); At Home with Sally; and Simply Charlotte Mason with Sonya Shafer. I’ve also added A Delectable Education, Charlotte Mason Poetry, Wild + Free podcasts to my library as well. I use the Podcast App that comes on all iPhones.

And who doesn’t love a good bible study plan on YouVersion? I mean seriously you can find TONS of reading plans with good devotionals and some with bible study questions. Then you can either do them solo or add some friends for accountability. I’ve learned these plans are done best when done with good friends. ♥️ I’m currently doing The Messy Table (7day plan) with a few friends.

So please share with me some of your Mother Culture finds. I’d love to add to my basket 🧺

A Chosen Wife

What does it mean to be a chosen wife?

It does not refer to the literal act of being chosen, as generally being married means that you were chosen by your partner to enter into covenant together.

But the chosen wife is the wife who has chosen to take up the mantle of biblical wifehood and has chosen to live out how the Bible has instructed us to as wives, as coheirs in the kingdom. There are many ways we do this from submission, to prayer, and even the practical ways of actually helping our spouses (whether its cleaning up behind them because they are exhausted or super busy with work or its getting out there are working just as hard as they do to provide for your family). The goal is always the same be a helpmeet and we choose this.

But there’s something else we need to choose and that is contentment. In this era of social media, we have these accounts on Facebook. Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, and Pinterest and it is SO easy to fall into the comparison trap. We compare our homes, our marriages, our children to people we know and even people we do not know. We compare our everyday life to their highlight reel. Because while we can see our dirty kitchens or messy living rooms, all we see online is their pristine clean photos that may give the impression that its always clean. But we don’t see what goes on behind closed doors. Perhaps there is heartache due to not being able to conceive OR we don’t see the tons of money they spend on a maid service. We may see the beautiful words of appreciation on a birthday or holiday but we don’t see the arguments behind closed doors. And the entire goal is appreciate and water your own grass. Don’t be so quick to wish for what someone else has because you don’t know what they did to get it or what they do to keep it.

Then, there’s avoiding the legalism trap that comes with being wife. As a wife we hold innumerable influence (generally speaking) with our husbands. We are in a position to advise them on matters that concern not only us and our household but also in areas outside the home that may affect others. And because of that we must be extremely careful as to what we say, how we say it, and what we support or do not support. And the legalist aspect to avoid is the attitude that because we do things a certain then everyone should or because we believe something then everyone should or because we are convicted in an area everyone should be convicted in that area. Some women may feel convicted about only wearing long skirts, while others may not have that same conviction. Some may feel that they should never work outside the home and for others that is not ideal nor do they hold the same convictions . It is very dangerous to push our personal feelings and convictions onto others. We run the risk of becoming the very Pharisees that Jesus denounced in the Bible.

So how to do we avoid the legalism trap? It starts with keeping our eyes focused ahead. Realizing that what the Holy Spirit convicts in us, may not be the same in the next person. And my race is my race, and it will not looks the same as the next person’s race and that is okay. Also, appreciate what you have. Comparison is the thief of joy and appreciation. So even if you need to limit your time on social media, do it. It is always for your good and God’s glory to leave comparison alone and run the race set before you.

So do you have any tips on running your race and being appreciative for what you do have? Leave them below!

Planning: Morning Time

Morning time is often the most important time of day as it sets the tone for the rest of the day. If the morning is hectic or chaotic usually the rest of the day is the same. So if I can get our mornings to a place of ease and routine then the rest of the day will follow suit.

So as I am planning our 2019-2020 school year, one of the first things I’ve planned is our morning time basket/routine.

We have handwriting workbooks (cursive for the older kids and print for the new writer), we have a nature book that will allow us to learn about the world around us as well as use it for sketching out what we learn about, we have 101 Bible Adventures (we’ll use for devotions and scripture memory), I’ve also found history books that we use for read aloud on the tablet (ebooks).

Cursive handwriting book found on Amazon for about $3-4

Found on Amazon for about $12

Amazon has this one for $13

I’m thinking for now that should round out our morning time although I’m thinking to do an afternoon “tea time” as I’ve been reading up on which is like morning time but for the afternoon and with snacks! Cause I mean who doesn’t love snacks. With that time we’ll work on music appreciation and independent reading.

I’ve also been working on building our learning games inventory for quiet time. My goal is to have more structured play and fun rather than our kids always running to a tablet or tv.

So, what are your plans for this upcoming school year? Are you doing a morning time or routine? Have you started curriculum planning? I’ll cover ours in the next homeschool post.

Motherhood: The Struggle

Oftentimes when people talk about parenting, it’s sunshine and rainbows. We talk about our children who potty trained easily and the ones who listen the first time you give instructions. But what about behind the scenes when your three year old has absolutely zero interest in potty training and literally is not taking to it. Unless we force her on the toilet she doesn’t go and even then she only will tinkle. What about the kids that I have to do the Godzilla voice on to get them to listen. And oftentimes its never the first time I give instructions. Here’s the thing they aren’t like this all the time. With the older kids it’s usually when they’re distracted on a device. And with the littles well they’re aged five and under. And the youngest, literally only likes mama. And because she’s still breastfeeding (13 almost 14 months old) I cannot do much of anything without her. There’s rarely such an account of motherhood that’s honest about the great days and includes the tough ones as well. And as moms we need to see that even the most well put together mom has tough days and no one has got this parenting thing down to perfection. That is how we start to eliminate the comparison trap.

At times this is hugely overwhelming and tough. It’s hard not to be on social media (face palms) and not compare my everyday to someone else’s highlight reel. But that’s exactly what we’re doing when we even remotely try to compare our lives with someone else even with people we see on Sunday at church or the mom at the park. We cannot possibly truly understand what life as a mom is like for her.

For me, I want you to see the hard days so that you understand that it is still possible to have them and persevere. There are days when I am irritable and I could not even tell you why. I’m sure my sleep being interrupted several times a night plays into the irritability. But as a Christian mom, you’d think I’d know how to put a cap on my emotions, right? Nope, not all the time. I struggle in this area. But I am committed to doing better. I am committed to showing grace to everyone around me, husband included. I don’t have to have it all together, but I do need to surrender it all to Jesus and lean on Him rather than trying to do it without Him. I am committed to showing the hard days so no one sees my highlight reel and compare.

A nugget I’m learning: Just as I want my children to use their words to express themselves, I have to do the same. Yelling and having an attitude does not express anything except anger and it does not help any situation. And I’m just as guilty as my kids of doing this. Of yelling and hitting in my anger; of having an attitude when I don’t get my way. And to teach them better I have to BE better.

So dear mama, if you’re ever in or near this boat. I am with you and I am rooting for you. If you have any tips on how you show grace to your family and how you take your attitude. Comment below. 👇🏽👇🏽

This is Us

So this is us! Mama plus all five kiddos. And thankfully Dad is our amazing cameraman.

From the left

Kaylee (11, soon to be 12 preteen)

Christian (newly minted 5 year old)

Coral (freshly walking 1 year old)

Cali (sassy 3 year old), and

the only boy Caleb (7 soon to be 8 year old bundle of fun).

We’re currently homeschooling the elder three with Christian doing half days of Pre Kindergarten before full days of Kindergarten in the fall.

This is us! Doing life on one income and homeschooling on a budget. Yes it is possible even with a seven person household. Even with two people in diapers. I thank God every day that He equips my husband to provide abundantly for us so that I can have the opportunity and privilege to be home with our children and educate them.

I hope you stick around to learn more about us and the life lessons we’re learning together. Monday I’ll share how we do homeschooling on a budget. This is huge!

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